Friday, August 1, 2014

I'm 70, I Can't Believe It. My Days Are Really Numbered Now.

I always wanted my husband and me to grow old together but that just didn’t happen. 
I have had heart disease since I was 38 so I always figured I would go first. 
I was completely fine with that I never wanted to see my loved ones die before me. 
God had other plans and in December 2014, my great, very loved husband passed away.
Our Springer Spaniel passed away just before my husband.

Shortly after his passing, I turned 70. How did I get here it was just a short time ago I was 17. Now I’m 70 and alone.
Oh, there are our kids but they have their own lives to live.
Now I have to learn how to drive in cities I've never driven in before because my husband always did the driving.
I see women drive their husbands around all the time, it wasn’t that way with us.
I didn’t know how to drive when I got married at 17.
My Dad was in the military and  our school overseas didn’t have driving lessons.
I did finally drive at 24. I had to get my licenses so I could get the babies to the doctor.

In May my mother passed away she was just a few days away from 92. She was loved and is missed. 
I'm 70
I have trouble just getting jars open and taking the trash to the curb especially
when it's 30 below and knee deep in snow.
At 70, I have no strength that's almost completely gone.
The wrinkles in my face get deeper each day.
The gray hair is really getting bad. I always used just a rinse on my hair now I think I need to change to permanent dye.
  I notice even lotion doesn't work on my skin I can't seem to get the wrinkles out of my arms or legs. I wonder why?

I even feel wobble when I walk, I think I shouldn't. I finally figured out my back is causing that. I have to hope that's what it is because it could be something worse.

I saw the doctor yesterday. She told me not to stand on chairs to do things. What do I do when a light bulb needs to be changed and that happens often here.

My eyes are also going bad I have Mactel. I figure in a very short time I won't be able to drive at all.

Winter has been hard shoveling snow is for the strong men not little old women.

I have finally rolled off the sofa for months after my husband's passing I couldn't get off the sofa.

I cried every time I drove into town and would have to turn around and come home. I cried when I passed the cemetery. I cried when I went through the drive through. I know the girls that worked there thought I was crazy.

I have lived on fast food.

Everything in the house seems to be breaking down. First my vacuum cleaner went, the tv, dishwasher, never buy a Bosch. I knocked the mirror off the car. Let's not talk about how that happened.   

I had one little dog that kept me going. 


One day I decide to get a friend
for him.
I went to the shelter and picked out another small dog.
They keep me going I have to walk them it gets me outside and helps with my health. 


I just can not live in one of those senior places!!

I will continue with this story soon.